New Popcorn Review (gasp): Ritz Theatres

Specifically, the Ritz East.

Checked out We Own the Night this weekend and was impressed by the movie, as well as the popcorn. Not my first trip to the Ritz but since I was starving, I paid close attention to the concessions, which are amazingly affordable.

The Good: The butter was applied by what seemed to be a butter applying expert, just the perfect amount. I asked for no salt, and got no salt. Genius. I spent 10 minutes wondering why it tasted so good compared to other area theaters.

I realized, the thing that made it perfect was: they didn't try to improve on an already perfect snack. Just popped the damn popcorn, put it in a bag, and sold it. How hard is that?

Needless to say, 45 minutes into the movie the popcorn was gone. And no gassy stomachache afterwards!

The Bad: A lot of loose shells, but magically avoided getting stuck in my teeth. Helps that I was swallowing kernels whole due to my borderline starvation.

The Ugly: After my girl reached into the bag three times, I threatened to buy another bag because it was too good.

The Random: Eva Mendes' booby seemingly pops out in this movie, but I'm pretty sure it was a body double. The breast looked nothing like I imagined it.

Official ALP Rating: 4.75 outta 5

Review #2 - AMC Marple 10

AMC Marple 10
Springfield, PA

Sigh. One day after enjoying the popcorn of Dale & Thomas, I had to endure the sub-par offerings of Marple. I assumed it would be standard movie theater popcorn, but this bag was exceptionally awful, which is unacceptable for a Friday night. Just like most movie popcorn, the kernels are tinted yellow, I guess to give the image of butter. Then after you purchase the popcorn they have a station with fake butter, I think its called Popcorn Topping or something... yes, I used it. They also had a salt shaker there, which is ridiculous because the popcorn was already heavily salted. Actually, heavily isn't the word for it. I'm pretty sure 'disgusting' fits the bill.

At first, I didn't notice how bad it was cause I was starving. After a few handfuls I had downed half my Cherry Coke, which is why I noticed how salty this popcorn was. But of course that didn't stop me. Two-thirds the way through the bag there were nothing but crushed kernels and those hard-ass, teeth shattering half-popped pieces. That s**t is infuriating, especially when you spent 5 dollars for it.

So, without further ado...

The Good
I was seeing Inside Man which ended up being pretty good, so it took my mind off the bag of crap in my lap.
The popcorn was warm.
There was no line at the concession stand. Like I said before, it counts.

The Bad
I hate when the kernels are yellow. Why are they yellow?
It had that powdery texture that bad popcorn always has.
Expensive.

The Ugly
Artificial Popcorn Topping??? At least make it sound more appetizing.

The Random
Marple charges $8.50 a ticket now. WTF???

Official ALP Rating: 2.5 outta 5

Review #1 - Dale & Thomas Popcorn

Dale & Thomas Popcorn
Liberty Place
Philadelphia, PA
www.daleandthomaspopcorn.com

Flavor: Pure Popped Natural (they sell tons of different types, but I only rate plain and butter)

This is a great way to start. I’ve been to Dale & Thomas at least 8 times now, and they are the “most consistent” – Jay-Z. Before I give them too much credit I must mention that their plain popcorn does not require much effort. I mean, they have kernels, they pop kernels, and the put the popped kernels in a bag when you order it. It’s not altered from the time they pop it to the time they hand it to you.

This is both a gift and a curse. The gift is that I prefer my popcorn towards the plain side and they provide plain popcorn. You add your own butter and salt. Nothing’s worse than somebody dumping salt all over your popcorn, so it’s nice to see them back off and let you handle it. *Sigh*, but that can be a curse when you are me, an individual with a knack for ruining food. This time I handled it perfectly and the results were great. Whatever butter these guys use is incredible; it’s clearly not that movie theater crap.

The Good:
Plain, fresh popcorn.
Great butter.
No line at the store… yes, that counts.
Feels healthy. I don’t know what that means…

The Bad:
If you ruin your own popcorn, you’re assed out.
For some reason, these kernels find a way between your teeth. It’s infuriating.

The Ugly:
That butter can really mess with your stomach.

The Random:
The Thomas from Dale & Thomas is a reference to Isiah Thomas. Yes that one. So its only a matter of time before this falls apart.

Official ALP Rating: 4 outta 5